Every week, our community of mamas receive one question in their inbox.

The answers aren’t advice, they’re lived experiences. Honest reflections from women navigating motherhood in all its beauty, complexity and contradiction.

This week we asked: ✨ What has motherhood taught you recently? ✨

The responses below have been shared by members of the Pass It On Mamas community. Some are anonymous, some are signed. Together, they become part of our growing archive of maternal wisdom.

“The audacity to say no.”

– Fariza

“Nothing is forever. For example my little one has been coming into our bed every night and one day it just stopped and they now stay in their bed. I miss waking up to those footsteps running down the hallway to our room.”

– Anonymous

“I’ve learnt that prioritising MY WELLBEING. Is the best thing I can do for my boys. It’s okay if they cry for a few minutes if I put them down so that I can eat. Learnt this the hard way after juggling twin newborns all day and almost fainting when I stood and realising I had been so busy looking after them. I had forgotten to look after myself. I now set alarms for meal times of if I know it’s just going to be me and the boys during the day.”

– Maddy, Queensland, mother of newborn twin boys

“Every generation, we try to do a little bit better than the one before.”

– Anonymous grandmother

“From a non-judgemental and guilt-free perspective, it is ALL me. My children are my mirrors. Everything that is going on with them is coming from something that’s going on with me. They feel and see everything that’s coming from me- it’s imprinted into them and they mirror it back to me, whether I like it or not. If something about them is bothering me, instead of figuring out how to change them, I need to take full personal responsibility and acknowledge how I have created that, because I’ve been doing it too. Not in a shameful way, but in an empowering way. In a way that feels positive, because instead of feeling like I have to control anyone else, I can just focus on myself, and they will mirror my changes.”

– Heidi, mother of 2

“There is always so much to do. More to learn, tidy, organise etc etc. BUT it seems more prevalent to me that the most important thing to do is to slow down. Centre myself and actually be present in the current, unfolding moment. Whether that moment includes house work, family time or time alone. I’m also learning that the more resistant I am to accepting the slowness and presence of the current moment the more I will be forced to sit within it (currently sick prioritising rest). There is a real sweetness in the present moment especially with little humans who live their whole life there in the most joyful, creative and honest way.”

– Laura, Brisbane, mother of 2

“Life gives us lessons as pure reflections through our children, we just need to listen to what is repeating itself within our kids (behaviours, emotions over something specific) I’ve been so humbled with what I responded to this week! It was like I was directly talking to myself when I was speaking with my older boy.”

– Lily, Sunshine Coast, mother of 2 toddler

“Never have I learned so much in my life as since becoming a mother. In the early days of motherhood, those lessons came thick and fast. It was like a rapidly filling filing cabinet where I was constantly pulling out one file after another, trying to figure out not only what kind of mother I was, but also who my child was and what he specifically needed. For me, that felt relentless, horrible, joyful and wonderful, often all within a single hour. As my eldest son has grown older, those lessons have become weighty in a completely different way. Parenting a boy on the precipice of high school, the lesson I am learning right now is independence. How much is enough? How do I give him enough space to become his own person while still steering his choices as best I can? How do I keep my child safe when he wants to stretch further and further away from me? How do I make sure he is polite and kind to others when I am not standing at his shoulder, reminding him to say please and thank you? So my roundabout answer to the question is this: I am learning to trust my child. I am learning about boundaries, how to set them and how to respect them. I am learning when to stay quiet because he simply needs me to listen. When he is offloading to me, asking, “Is this a help moment or a hug moment?” because sometimes he doesn’t want my advice. He just needs me to listen and hug him, which is so hard for a mother! I am having to trust that I have done the work to raise a good human, and let him go out into the world to make his own mistakes and celebrate his own wins. It feels like triumph and heartbreak all at once. But wow, having proper conversations with your almost grown-up child, hearing about what he has seen and what he thinks about the world, that’s a really wonderful next chapter. Even if he is doing some of it without me, because that’s the end goal, right. Helping to create wonderful humans who go out into the world and create their own lives.”

– Julie, Central Coast, mother of 2 school-aged boys

“Be kind to yourself.”

– Bev, mother of adult children

“That children don’t care for a carefully curated routine with the best Toyroom setup, activities, days out etc, or anything that stresses their Mumma out. They want us to slow down and simply be with them and if that means they will follow us from the clothes line, to the dishes, to the post office, to the folding, so be it. If they’re by my side and I can answer their lively questions and kiss their cheeks they’re happy. Ultimately to slow down and stop trying to perfect the way I’m raising them. It reminds me of that quote ‘don’t be so caught up giving them a good life that you forget to give them a good day’ … or something along those lines anyway I’ve felt it to my core lately and let’s just say we’ve had a lot more lazy days, afternoon movies, messy tea parties and cleaning sessions filled with games of eye spy. And everyone is happy.”

– Haylee, Sunshine Coast, mother of 3

“My children are my mirrors. They’re feeling/acting out/processing everything I’m keeping in, always helping me meet what I need to, and when I see this I can meet them with more compassion AND allow myself to fully lean into my own needs and feelings.”

– Sarah, mother of three

“Motherhood has taught me so much, but lately I would say it has taught me to slow down and be present. Life goes by so quickly and the days turn into weeks which turn into years and next minute another year is over. That’s why it’s so important to slow down and cherish the small things. Being present for my daughter is my number one priority at the moment. Making sure I am intentional with her and enjoy the phase we are in now, even though it can be challenging.”

– Ashleigh, mother of toddler

“That taking care of myself is taking care of my family.”

– Rosie, Sunshine Coast, mother of 4 school-aged children

“My children are my greatest teachers.”

– Faaiumalo, Tewantin, mother of 4

“That listening to your child is just as important as making sure their listening to you.”

– Elizabeth, Sydney, mother of 2 school-aged children

“Children are mirrors of their parents and those closest to them. They absorb even the smallest details (behaviors, nuances, and energies). Reminding us of the impact our everyday actions and attitudes have on them.”

– Sam, mother of 2 and 1 on the way

“Both the good / easy and bad / hard times pass so enjoy the stage you’re in – it can all be different again tomorrow!”

– Laura, Central Coast, mother of 2

Pass It On Mamas exists to preserve, honour and share maternal wisdom of mothers from all seasons.